MTV VMA 2011 Recap | Steve Jobs, please make this all go away.

width=300Let’s recap MTV’s 2011 VMA ceremony that aired Sunday night

The pre-party consisted of egg whites, butter and basil. A splash of red & black pepper was added before the egg whites stiffened up to a nice scramble. Toasted peasant bread by Turano and Maple bacon produced by Oscar Meyer was prepared on the side. Coffee by Gevalia, un cafe, steamed from the corner of the kitchen.

We ate breakfast right before noon and discussed how wonderful the basil was while alerting one another with what the rest of the day held for us. Ktwaanza said, Are you going to be home for the VMAs tonight? I said, What? We looked at each other in confusion- and then we laughed. Sundays in we world. We said our goodbyes for the day and off to work we went.

Around 7:30 p.m. I enjoyed a shredded chicken sandwich with beans and rice, chips and salsa to start. This was lunch time for the creative crew working on a new record by Micky Rosenquist & The Black Squirrels Project in Rockford, IL.  We enjoyed a Mexican musical trio that serenaded a table of drunk, young men near by who were kind of distracted by soccer on the TV, but not enough to yell ariba a few times so that the entire restaurant could acknowledge their voices above the music.  The trio did not play long, but they left their matching white cowboy hats on and hit the bar opposite of the drunk men.  The waitress knew plenty of english but it still didn’t stop her from making mathematical mistakes.  It’s America afterall, math is not our specialty so I let the mistake on my receipt go.  Regardless, the food was delicious and we left to get back to work.

Fast forward to Monday morning, 12:30 a.m., Sunday is now over and pillow time is here again.

Around 7:10 a.m. estimation this morning I awoke with a regular bowel movement, a bit sooner than I like them to be, but whatever- an urgent bowel movement in the morning is better than an early morning phone call.  So we sat there, me and my inner child, reading Twitter stream twidiot nonsense. I discovered what VMAs were and connected the dots on the obvious; Video Music Awards.  How did this acronym bypass me the previous day?  Have I become this oblivious to MTV?  How’s this possible? I love Teen Mom marathons, it’s not possible- or is it?

Scrolling and reading news on Twitter from my toilet seat, I leaned back and mumbled to myself, Awwwwwww. Beyonce is pregnant… everyone is pregnant…OMJZ!  It was time to lean forward, put the phone down, wipe the ass and move on.

(14 hours later and I haven’t eaten yet today, unfortunately, there’s nothing to report aside from one cup of coffee, 2 jobs and a diet coke.  Sorry, this is nothing like a tired teacher’s schedule, wink, wah wah, wink wink. Oink? Bah bah, moo!)

Tonight I found these animated gif clips on the internet from the VMAs that the fine folks over at Stereogum was hosting for anyone’s pleasure.



In other news, Steve Jobs has resigned from Apple. Here’s hoping he takes down the internet & the moonman with him. One last innovation.

Please make this all go away.


MTV VMA 2011 Recap | Steve Jobs, please make this all go away.Andy Whorehall

One comment on "MTV VMA 2011 Recap | Steve Jobs, please make this ..."

  1. This article has as much to do with the Video Music Awards as the Video Music Awards have to do with music. Awesome!!

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