Advertising: Cheaper, Faster, Shittier and Far From Dead

Advertising is far from dead. If anything, it has completely devolved from what once was already a disgusting, bloated, big-city, American suit and tie, breakfast bending, lunch and boozy golf outing industry that’s fueled by large expense accounts and predominantly underpaid creative departments. Today it’s funnier, rural, prouder, cheaper (than a third-world country telemarketer), louder, free and equally disgusting as its metropolitan origin and roots.

The modern income inequality divide between the greedy haves (CEOS, VPs, Partners, AEs, Creative Directors, Jr. Sales Reps) and have-nots (everyone who produces the work) is larger than ever before. Forget gender equality, let’s talk about ethics equality?  The advertising and marketing industry serving up a great example of both income and ethics inequality.

E.g., Copywriters used to be employed and paid to perform project tasks;  today, hire a multi-tasking Creative Director to come up with something clever while he/she scripts and designs the website content after revising the print material featuring the products he/she will photograph themselves on their personal iPhone, Android device or some other crappy digital device that has rendered every professional creative class member from an an employable, experienced, quality individual into an income-inequality divide victim.  

Don’t forget to forward all your client calls from the AEs or potential sales leads to the Creative Director to handle while their ‘team’ is out doing whatever it is that Executives do when they take off for a meeting at 1:30 PM after being out all morning at a breakfast meeting. “Take a message if anyone calls.” Sure thing, buddy– and insure that one salary with very little incentives takes care of one head with twelve hats. 

The Creative Class is fried fish; lovingly devoured by gross, greedy executives who behave no differently than slave driving slobs.

That is the reality of advertising and marketing in the modern digital age. Incredibly unethical exectuives are profiting from grossly underpaid creative class members. What’s worse is that those same gross advertising and marketing behaviors have infiltrated our day-to-day existence and culture.  Gross, cheap marketing is everywhere.

Every stay-at-home soccer mom, high school kid and junior college dropout with an Apple device and an HD camera from Best Buy is a one-man ad firm these days. Industry thieves feeds off of these individuals– which is great for them to find a means for income in between a morning bong and frisbee golf with the guys, or coffee with the gals at the local Starbucks. (How do we know this is happening?  It’s on the internet– they tell, show and market their every move.  It has to be true if it’s on the #internet.)

Advertising is far from dead. It’s all around us. Worse than ever for our physical and psychological health because fast food business ethics have entered the social media advertising and marketing industry; cheaper, faster, shittier for our bodies and minds.  A third world country recipe of sorts, Ray Kroc and Steve Jobs’ dream come to life.  Forget jazz, freedom, guns and baseball* (verdict is out on such origins), what wonderful American icons we have there– look at this incredible self-serving mess they created!

Everyone with a social media account is a free labor marketer. Please tell me your likes, interests, share your shitty opinions and blah blah blah. I ‘ve waited all day, hurry. Information is power, and everyone with an opinion these days (like myself) is a marketing whore whether we like it or not. Data, tweets, shares, endorsements, recommendations, favorites and pins are all marketing messages. Some paid for, most not.

Either way, the machine is winning while y’all do the work for free. The modern age of internet peasants! We are all peasants, litterers, self-serving/self-obsessed marketing whores creating mind waste at the touch of a button.

Advertising is far from dead; it’s still selling shit for shit and much of it free. Ya get what ya paid for, America. I wish I had answers because cancer, hunger, homelessness, crime, genocide are globally running rampant while we advance digital ways to find the nearest Port-O-Let and McDonalds with our phones, watches and whatever.

(Keep up the great work, human race– very impressive.  Add a hashtag, tag your friends, take a selfie, allow the ad firm that contacted you to use your photo for free in one of their brochures and online for civic pride municipal marketing nonsense while they’re paid thousands of dollars, and you nothing.  Good work, everyone!)

Cheerio, sever snakes, upset some $cumbags (especially Rockford, Illinois, area advertising and marketing firm owners, public charity thieves, local media hacks and city government servants) and when that’s not enough, pet some puppies,



P.S.:  Hi Gordon, Jay, Sparky, Frank, Shane, Heather, Mark, Griff, Cory, Ron, Pablo, John, Jarrod and ____________ (insert any regional $cumbag’s name there).

Advertising: Cheaper, Faster, Shittier and Far From DeadAndy Whorehall

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